Wanlargpaklip is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, idiotic mink.

Wanlargpaklip created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wanlargpaklip, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wanlargpaklip, she will destroy your favourite star.

Wanlargpaklip's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Wanlargpaklip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Worship no other gods but Wanlargpaklip.

3. Never think ill of sick gulls.

4. Never mention doves.

5. Wanlargpaklip loves nematodes, so they must be respected.