Kenpogjan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, tiresome fairy.

Kenpogjan created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenpogjan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kenpogjan, he will boil you in a big pot.

Kenpogjan's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Kenpogjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never pour water over plants.