Cetlopneg is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, benevolent guinea pig.

Cetlopneg created a charm quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetlopneg, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cetlopneg, he will destroy your home planet.

Cetlopneg's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Cetlopneg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. Always obey Cetlopneg's priests.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never talk about asteroids.