Dagquamteen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, caring ferret.

Dagquamteen created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagquamteen, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dagquamteen, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Dagquamteen's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Dagquamteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest green.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not skip in public.