Yatnurtstan is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, loving hydra.

Yatnurtstan created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yatnurtstan, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yatnurtstan, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Yatnurtstan's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Yatnurtstan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair brown.

2. Retreat if five nematodes approach from the north.

3. Feed all hungry great tits.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Run away if seven geese approach from the south.