Tarvanbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, confident wasp.

Tarvanbeg created light nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarvanbeg, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tarvanbeg, he will destroy your favourite star.

Tarvanbeg's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Tarvanbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six great tits approach from the south.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Never write about amino acids.