Bifgesshun is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, dishonourable snake.

Bifgesshun created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifgesshun, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bifgesshun, she will turn you into a mouse.

Bifgesshun's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Bifgesshun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about gooseberries.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Always obey Bifgesshun's priests.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Hide if four mites approach from the west.