Bonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, idiotic goat.

Bonk created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Bonk, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bonk, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bonk's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cucumbers to moths while wearing pink skirts.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

3. Never talk about goats.

4. Worship no other gods but Bonk.

5. Never wear corsets.