Vonkfossham Tettiflynell is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, amazing hamster.

Vonkfossham Tettiflynell created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkfossham Tettiflynell, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vonkfossham Tettiflynell, he will torture you forever.

Vonkfossham Tettiflynell's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Vonkfossham Tettiflynell's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vonkfossham Tettiflynell.

4. Never talk about aardvarks.

5. Never eat green fruit.