Tipkomsaf is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, narcissistic tapir.

Tipkomsaf created Africa five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tipkomsaf, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tipkomsaf, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tipkomsaf's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Tipkomsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Tipkomsaf's priests.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Never think about gravity.