Taprakfig is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, compassionate snake.

Taprakfig created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Taprakfig, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Taprakfig, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Taprakfig's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Taprakfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention snakes.

2. Do not speak about parsnips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Always help sick voles.