Xinquammutwip Bodtunfob is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omnipotent finch.

Xinquammutwip Bodtunfob created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xinquammutwip Bodtunfob, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Xinquammutwip Bodtunfob, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Xinquammutwip Bodtunfob's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Xinquammutwip Bodtunfob's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Run away from violet monkeys, for they are unholy.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.