Larpcepflam is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, contented camel.

Larpcepflam created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpcepflam, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Larpcepflam, he will throw large rocks at you.

Larpcepflam's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Larpcepflam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always help sick ants.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.