Karlimfod Hatzodgembigort is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, clever duck.

Karlimfod Hatzodgembigort created dark matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Karlimfod Hatzodgembigort, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Karlimfod Hatzodgembigort, he will laugh at you.

Karlimfod Hatzodgembigort's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Karlimfod Hatzodgembigort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Feed all hungry porpoises.

5. Never feed lemons to moths while wearing blue coats.