Tafvenflam is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, loving scorpion.

Tafvenflam created light seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafvenflam, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tafvenflam, she will torture you forever.

Tafvenflam's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tafvenflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Worship no other gods but Tafvenflam.

3. Do not kill mites.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Do not eat figs.