Godtofbest is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, merciless aardvark.

Godtofbest created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Godtofbest, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Godtofbest, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Godtofbest's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Godtofbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

3. Do not hurt nematodes.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not drink water in purple rooms.