Tetticubmad is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered giraffe.

Tetticubmad created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tetticubmad, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tetticubmad, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tetticubmad's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Tetticubmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.