Hatmigwik is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, sapient mole.

Hatmigwik created light three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatmigwik, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hatmigwik, he will laugh at you.

Hatmigwik's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Hatmigwik's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. You must never eat peanuts.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.