Siddaglip Wadbegbet is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, emotional spider.

Siddaglip Wadbegbet created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Siddaglip Wadbegbet, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Siddaglip Wadbegbet, he will make you grow a tail.

Siddaglip Wadbegbet's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Siddaglip Wadbegbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Worship no other gods but Siddaglip Wadbegbet.

5. Retreat if nine tortoises approach from the west.