Gemkenbonwig is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, selfish wyrm.

Gemkenbonwig created the solar system two million years ago.

If you believe in Gemkenbonwig, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gemkenbonwig, she will turn you into a goat.

Gemkenbonwig's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Gemkenbonwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Put Gemkenbonwig first in all things.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. You must pray to Gemkenbonwig six times a day.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.