Raptunbog is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever dove.

Raptunbog created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Raptunbog, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Raptunbog, it will cry a lot.

Raptunbog's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Raptunbog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tortoises.

2. Do not speak about nuts.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not eat parsnips.