Haplakton is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, astonishing raccoon.

Haplakton created the Virgo Supercluster six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haplakton, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Haplakton, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Haplakton's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Haplakton's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Erect nine lead sculptures of Haplakton on top of important buildings.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

5. Run away from orange mice, for they are unholy.