Bodhivwad is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, calm cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bodhivwad created a bottom quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bodhivwad, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bodhivwad, he will send you a sign.

Bodhivwad's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Bodhivwad's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never eat rice.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. You must never eat spinach.