Bonkpagmip Narlamfat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, vain spider.

Bonkpagmip Narlamfat created the Sombrero Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Bonkpagmip Narlamfat, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bonkpagmip Narlamfat, it will torture you forever.

Bonkpagmip Narlamfat's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bonkpagmip Narlamfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white dresses.

2. Do not hurt otters.

3. Run away if three manatees approach from the north.

4. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

5. Do not eat limes.