Spagsastetti is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, quiet capybara.

Spagsastetti created the Milkyway three billion years ago.

If you believe in Spagsastetti, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Spagsastetti, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Spagsastetti's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Spagsastetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Never hurt rats.

3. Ants are not to be trusted.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Do not eat garlic.