Fotjatnut is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, dishonourable walrus.

Fotjatnut created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotjatnut, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fotjatnut, it will make you grow a tail.

Fotjatnut's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Fotjatnut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt sharks.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.