Timpintab Vadnur is a god.

It takes the form of a small, awesome human.

Timpintab Vadnur created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timpintab Vadnur, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Timpintab Vadnur, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Timpintab Vadnur's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Timpintab Vadnur's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three ants approach from the west.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never think ill of sick monkeys.