Camvencum is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, grumpy cow.

Camvencum created the planet Mars nine million years ago.

If you believe in Camvencum, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Camvencum, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Camvencum's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Camvencum's Holy Commandments

1. Camvencum must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Put Camvencum first in all things.

4. Retreat if seven dolphins approach from the south.

5. Hide if six geese approach from the east.