Xendadrip Futjarnrull Kanhivken is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, humane gerbil.

Xendadrip Futjarnrull Kanhivken created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Xendadrip Futjarnrull Kanhivken, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Xendadrip Futjarnrull Kanhivken, he will be very unhappy.

Xendadrip Futjarnrull Kanhivken's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Xendadrip Futjarnrull Kanhivken's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured great tits.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never talk about fire.