Sadtipfidzed Negjipzimlabzed is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, dishonest rat.

Sadtipfidzed Negjipzimlabzed created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sadtipfidzed Negjipzimlabzed, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Sadtipfidzed Negjipzimlabzed, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Sadtipfidzed Negjipzimlabzed's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Sadtipfidzed Negjipzimlabzed's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green goats for they are unholy.

2. Worship no other gods but Sadtipfidzed Negjipzimlabzed.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.