Sasdamfon is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, staggering dingo.

Sasdamfon created a bottom quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sasdamfon, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sasdamfon, it will refuse to believe in you.

Sasdamfon's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Sasdamfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Do not wear fawn clothing.

3. Hide if nine hamsters approach from the north.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.