Afmisbassbedpogveenkadmad Vegcapkongab is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, stupid fish.

Afmisbassbedpogveenkadmad Vegcapkongab created the planet Mars four billion years ago.

If you believe in Afmisbassbedpogveenkadmad Vegcapkongab, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Afmisbassbedpogveenkadmad Vegcapkongab, she will make you grow a tail.

Afmisbassbedpogveenkadmad Vegcapkongab's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Afmisbassbedpogveenkadmad Vegcapkongab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green ear rings.

2. Afmisbassbedpogveenkadmad Vegcapkongab loves cats, so they must be respected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not kill ants.