Dogcempark is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, compassionate centipede.

Dogcempark created parasitic wasps three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogcempark, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dogcempark, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dogcempark's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Dogcempark's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to ducks while wearing mauve tights.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Dogcempark must be the most important thing in your life.