Gebjiglam is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, all-powerful armadillo.

Gebjiglam created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gebjiglam, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gebjiglam, she will torture you forever.

Gebjiglam's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gebjiglam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never run near badgers.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not eat melons.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.