Canripgoflabgar Bonkwotfen is a god.

He takes the form of a small, generous sheep.

Canripgoflabgar Bonkwotfen created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Canripgoflabgar Bonkwotfen, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Canripgoflabgar Bonkwotfen, he will ignore you.

Canripgoflabgar Bonkwotfen's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Canripgoflabgar Bonkwotfen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve horses, for they are unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Canripgoflabgar Bonkwotfen.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.