Tamsansog is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unsympathetic elephant.

Tamsansog created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamsansog, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tamsansog, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tamsansog's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tamsansog's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt horses.

2. Put Tamsansog first in all things.

3. Hide from green seals for they are unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never eat green fruit.