Lopgebhiv is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciful squirrel.

Lopgebhiv created the Sol system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Lopgebhiv, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lopgebhiv, he will turn you into a duck.

Lopgebhiv's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Lopgebhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Lopgebhiv on top of all buildings.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lopgebhiv.

5. Always wear cyan.