Flyquartnarl is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unfair rhinoceros.

Flyquartnarl created the planet Jupiter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flyquartnarl, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flyquartnarl, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Flyquartnarl's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Flyquartnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never eat grapes.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always help mice in need.