Ortjatstip is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, caring bee.

Ortjatstip created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortjatstip, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ortjatstip, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Ortjatstip's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Ortjatstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Always help tortoises in need.

5. Hide if six mice approach from the north.