Hondotquathug is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, emotional walrus.

Hondotquathug created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hondotquathug, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hondotquathug, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Hondotquathug's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Hondotquathug's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never feed pineapples to squirrels while wearing cyan shoes.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink alcohol.