Tigcinyok is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, wise raccoon.

Tigcinyok created the Black Eye Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tigcinyok, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tigcinyok, it will curse you with boils.

Tigcinyok's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Tigcinyok's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

2. Never feed strawberries to foxes while wearing mauve trousers.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never look in ponds.