Pighogbig Witfarnhin is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, tranquil weasel.

Pighogbig Witfarnhin created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Pighogbig Witfarnhin, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pighogbig Witfarnhin, he will turn you into a duck.

Pighogbig Witfarnhin's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Pighogbig Witfarnhin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Pighogbig Witfarnhin must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.