Bonknabzan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, fast goat.

Bonknabzan created bats nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonknabzan, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bonknabzan, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Bonknabzan's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bonknabzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Put Bonknabzan first in all things.

4. Do not dye your hair green.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.