Betvolcarfag is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, ruthless clam.

Betvolcarfag created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Betvolcarfag, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Betvolcarfag, she will not invite you to parties.

Betvolcarfag's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Betvolcarfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Do not take Betvolcarfag's name in vain.

4. Put Betvolcarfag first in all things.

5. Do not stand on grass.