Satwitjat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, resourceful dryad.

Satwitjat created viruses four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satwitjat, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Satwitjat, it will turn you into a puffin.

Satwitjat's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Satwitjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about tapirs.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Never skip in holy places.