Gatquamlog is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, uncaring naga.

Gatquamlog created the Sunflower Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatquamlog, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gatquamlog, she will not care at all.

Gatquamlog's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Gatquamlog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Put Gatquamlog first in all things.

4. Never hurt bats.

5. Respect your elders.