Barnsitcun is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, ruthless swan.

Barnsitcun created energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnsitcun, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Barnsitcun, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Barnsitcun's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Barnsitcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always help nematodes.

5. Never write about asteroids.