Binmotpan is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, temperamental bird.

Binmotpan created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Binmotpan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Binmotpan, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Binmotpan's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Binmotpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Put Binmotpan first in all things.

4. Do not wear pink clothing.

5. Never wear black trousers.