Nellcanfumfom is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, witty pig.

Nellcanfumfom created the Large Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellcanfumfom, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nellcanfumfom, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Nellcanfumfom's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Nellcanfumfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not hurt squirrels.