Ditgupgig is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, awe-inspiring salamander.

Ditgupgig created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditgupgig, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditgupgig, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Ditgupgig's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Ditgupgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Feed all hungry rats.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Respect your elders.